Shut up and bounce!

Dear people of the free world,
Today I shall address a very serious issue, an issue far greater than war or famine.
Today, I shall spare your souls by preaching to you the dangers of...

The humble trampoline.

But surely, I hear you cry, what harm can come from a spring loaded sheet of woven plastic suspended by metal tubes?

Pahaa...

I laugh at your innocence!

As I type, a dear friend of mine is in agony somewhere. Somewhere, he is high on drugs as a pathetic attempt to lighten his suffering.... all due to the trampoline which resides in the back garden of a friends maison. We were merrily propelling ourselves from one side to the other, running back and forth, defying gravity and screaming with joy.
No, wait, that wasn't joy...
CRRAAAACCKKKK!
He falls to the floor (which promptly springs him back up again) obviously in pain.
In a last act of desperation, he pulls himself across and off the beast and proceeds to hobble over the lawn.

Ice is clutched to his ankle.
But, it is too late.
With one final expulsion of life, he utters:
"Avenge me"
And slumps to the cold, uncaring ground.*

Trampolines kill innocent teenagers!!

*Note to readers - there may have been a teensy little bit of exaggeration slipped in there somewhere... Don't panic though!! I got a text from him whilst he was at A&E complainig that the offending ankle 'has swollen up to the size of a lesbian'. Poor thing.

But, yes, it was on GMTV just this morning about the dangers of trampolining and having fun. We laughed. We ignored their pleas for following health and safety regulations. And now we know.

In the future, we must always solemnly heed the warnings expressed on ITV breakfast programmes. Amen.

Anyways - stay safe and peace out!!

:)

Tomorrow I may tell you about the wonders of Big Brother ^_^..... won't that be a treat?!