I am unwritten

I have not laid eyes on this blog in such a long time it's unreal :'(

And after this I doubt there'll be a major amount of tap tap tapping till the good ol' festivities! But whatever, howdy, heylo, yes mate. I am here now and I am all yours...

ANYWHO

Life?

Life is bizarre right now; I feel like everything is passing me by in a conglomeration of swirling textbooks and crayons. I blink and I miss several weeks worth of nonsensical, irrelevent chatter and find myself bemused and unhinged.
Maybe it's just me?

It's all starting to look up Up UP though! ^______^
Reg and I are planning on making a baby...
We shall MERGE into one!
(And this time, not physically o.O)
Yes, we plan on leaking out our creative juices and swilling them round and round until...

OUR MOST GLORIOUS ORGASMICALLY WONDERFUL EXUBERANT AND SLIGHTLY WHORISH NOVEL IS BORN!

There is no doubt that it will be the most awesome entity since the Futch.
And the Futch is pretty darn awesome, pointless* yet awesome.

It will fund our many addictions...

Ah well, short post but I'm bored now and need to get back to the artistic jizz that is my sketch book ^_^

NAANIIIIIGHT!

*I'm sure one day we shall discover the meaning of the Futch. We must not give up hope! I BELIEVE IN FUTCH DAMNIT!!

Guess who?

\

So, when I said that I would return to blogging in September, I may have lied just a teensy little bit. But now I have so many different ways of blogging, I really have no excuse not to – darn technological evolution!!!

Gah… So much has happened since I last tapped to you that I really have no clue as to where to start.

Umm. Err..

*Gazes around sheepishly awaiting some form of "Awkward Turtle" movement to pulsate out of the screen*

NIPPLES!

Why do men have nipples then? That seems a vaguely appropriate question to blog about J

Is it a genetic error? Or did guys once have the ability to lactate? Who knows? In fact, I may Google this most frightfully intriguing query.

*taptaptaptaptaptapsnorttap*

Ha! It was actually the first suggestion on the list when I typed in 'Why do men…' - OBVIOUSLY I'm not the only one curious!

*taptaptaptap…tap*

"The answer is that as embryos men and women have similar tissues and body parts. If anything the embryo follows a 'female template'. That is why nipples are present in both sexes. It is the effect of the genes, the Y chromosome and the hormone testosterone that brings about the changes and masculinises the embryo. Testosterone promotes the growth of the penis and testicles. Because nipples are there before this process begins the nipples stay!"

SO… men begin life basically as women XD SUCK ON THAT!!!!!!

Also,Male Breasts Can Produce Milk! This amused me…

All this talk of male breasts reminds me of my GCSE English coursework aka 'MOOB'. Yes, dear readers, my coursework was a story about a guy who owned an ample pair of man boobs and was reminded of this in all his adventures. My English teacher was… bemused by it to say the least. Got an A star though!

Anyway, other answers provided were:

• FOR WOMEN TO PLAY WITH.
  
• The left one changes the station while the right one controls volume
  
• So they don't look weird in beachwear...
  

 

There is also a website and book, for anyone with a twisted obsession with those pink, manly nubs.

http://www.whydomenhavenipples.com/

 

Muahahaaa!! Dais is back J

 

Well, my own personal little life isn't too awful right now. Utterly fed up of the smelly shite that entitles itself 'Homework', but meh! What can I do about it? Apparently at a level you can't feed it to the dog/chicken/small child no more.

ANYWHO! I must bow and exult as there is so much work that I promised myself I would do tonight that is still hibernating in my pen stained school bag.

Niiiiiiiiighty night dear followers!

Apologies!

I pinky swear that I shall honestly reume writing this lovely blog when college starts up. I know thats an odd thing to do, but hey.... I'm a wee bit obscure in my logic! Anyway, the only real reason that I came on here today is to see if my absolutely enchanting new E71 has blogging capabilities. And it does!
How orgasmically exciting!?
Anywayyyy.............
Moo!
I shall type to you in September!
Tataaa for now my lovelies xxx

Insight?

http://legeekchicinsight.blogspot.com/

Just another blog....
Read it?

:)

x

Tweet tweet!!

Heheee!!
I have discovered many lovely things today.
Many heavenly, orgasmically thrilling experiences...

1. Twitter. I LOVE THIS! I am now officially stalking Stephen Fry! Can you not feel the excitement being exuded by my inner geek? STEPHEN FRY! He is a legend, an idol, a comedic genius. I also plan on using it for hunting down lots of talented, successful artsy types in due time.

2. Coco Rocks. Thankyou, my darling Reginald, you have got me hooked. I find myself, even now, lusting over those iddy biddy pockets of chocolatey goodness. Ommnommmm :P

3. PSYCHOVILLE. Orgasmically good. Disturbing, unnerving and rather perturbing but utterly thrilling. Very League of Gentlemen. Very dark. Exquisitely funny!

4. Mobile internet. On my old brick? Yes! I can tweet on it :)

Teheee... So most of the day was consumed by psychoville with Reginald and S. Hardly wasted, a mon avis

Now I need to choose a new phone, as I am determined to update myself techonologically with the money expected from GCSE results (totally dreading!). A blackberry would be AWESOME, but I'm considering an LG Viewty or a Samsung Tocco Light... not sure..

Bon Nuit!!

What's on the a-gender?

Oh yes.. I am still here, still not dead and still pondering the mysteries of life :)



SO - Thought for the day!

Are men and women truly equal??

Is equality possible?

And should they be eqaul?



I pinky swear that I shan't turn this into a psychotic feminist rant!

Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye!



Ok, so here we go...



There are obvious physical differences: bollocks and boobies e.t.c.

And obvious hormonal ones, oestrogen and testosterone. Obvious obvious obvious!

Don't worry, I'm not the British Education System and will not bore you with stuff you already know. Or would I? Muahahaahahaa- No.



Socially, men and women are about as equal as... well they're not!



For example: if a woman grows old without marrying, she must be either a 'spinster' or a psychotic bitch. It is hardly fair that a man remaining single earns himself the title of 'bachelor'. Bachelor sounds... well, nice! It suggests the guy is happy, content and respectable. A spinster is a crazy old cat woman, who takes pleasure in screeching inane babble at passers by and frightening small children.



There is a similar issue when stereotyping homosexuals. A gay guy is automatically fun, intelligent, witty and fashionable whereas a lesbian is suggested to be mannish, unattractive and to have an unhealthy fondness for ugly shoes.



And finally, on this topic, a girl who is surrounded by guys is automatically a 'slut' or a 'whore' as opposed to a guy who may be seen simply as 'a bit of a player'.



Okies so lets flip the pancake :)



Guys can get it tough too!



It may sound ironic but, due to all the effort that is constantly being taken out to make sure that women are getting lots of oppurtunities in work and play, men are often finding themselves at a disadvantage. They are always left out and expected to accept it on the terms of 'equality'. Harsh? Yes.

Also, when it comes to insurance, men are always stereotyped as angry boyracers and forced to pay a hideous amount to cover their cars. There ain't no guys allowed in Sheila's Wheels! In fact,
there are many groups dedicated to women only, yet not so much for men.

OH! And serious peer pressure to be all big and manly, when secretly they just want a hug.

Arwwwww

Poor men.

PLUS, guys have to spend lots of time worrying about the size of their *ahem* noses...
Is it big enough?
Is it too big?
What about girth?
OMG is that a WART????
Too hairy?
Bollock shaving?!
Bollock EPILATING??!! (Apparently that has been known to happen...)

Not that they have anywhere as near as much to worry about as girls do :)
I shan't go into detail... but flabby, flappy vaginas aren't the most reassuring of body parts when it comes to self esteem and whatever. And boobs. And periods. And other random body issues.

Here's something I believe to be unfair:
MASTURBATION!!

It's easy for guys, everything is right there in front of them!!
Girls are far more complicated.... clitoral stimulation... g spots... apparently there is a specific technique involved... 'come hither' motion....

And porn is all aimed at men!

But girls have more fun in the long run, I reckon, they can get away with more :D



Apart from childbirth.



JOBS?
Well, I don't see it as unfair that most of the 'top jobs' are occupied by men... 'cos they must be the dullest professions ever created. They simply ooze blandness.
Plus, most women will have become incredibly maternal or have forgotten the condom at some stage before the time they reach 30. Ahoy maternity leave and housewife syndrome!


I'll round this up
I'll stop rambling
In short:
Women and men will never truly be equal because they are way too different! Equality can never be possible as there will always be some form of discrimination and/or selectivity.

Feel free to add any contributions, my lovelies :)

Um?

Why, hello there!





It would seem that all the issues with my darling laptop that I ranted about in my last post have miraculously been fixed. Well, my neighbour jiggled it about a wee bit, gave it some meds and whispered sweet nothings through the mic et voila! We're all happy.





After a pleasent pot noodle in the garden with the clucks, I got pondering...



Since the dawn of agriculture, chickens have been genetically engineered to be fat, flightless, egg laying machines. We have no desire for skinny chickens, except for competing. We don't want chickens that fly, that would just make it easier for them to escape.



So, as I watched my gormless hens scratch up the garden, my thoughts meandered into the realms of government conspiracy theories.

Schools are publicly shown to encourage ALL children and teenagers to 'aim high' and 'achieve their best', but surely this can not be beneficial for the country?

If all children were pushed to achieve fantastically academically, then the UK would wind up in a rather sticky situation. We need worker bees! People who aspire to very little and will happily serve their country by doing inane, seemingly dull or grubby tasks.

In other words, we need RETARDS! Not total retards, but humans of a minimal intelligence.

Now... the government highlights those who are deemed overachievers, with programmes such as 'Gifted and Talented' etc, but what about the other students?

Is it possible that they are taught enough to pass exams, yet there is some censored rule that prevents teachers from stimulating their minds? Education is practically spoonfed, atleast through GCSE level, numbing our brains. Boring people senseless and regurgitating them from the education system. Was this intended? Were they unknowingly brainwashed into thinking that they must escape and find another direction, only to be cast down into the cesspits of the lowest paid jobs possible? I'm sure that nobody truly aspires to empty out smelly bins, but somebody has to do it!

Obviously, I really have no idea where I am going with this whole idea, like always :)

But then this leads to the loophole of those lovely lovely people who spend their lives like parasites on benefits. They have never got anywhere in life, they failed to learn anything ever, and now they plan on making money by making babies.

Slutty Chav + Horny Chav + lack of sex ed + lack of braincells = Ickle Chavlets + easy moneys.

And then the cycle repeats from the offspring.

But - this can'nae be good from a political perspective!

Or can it? These people are loathed by society! They are classed even lower than those trapped in unpleasent careers. So, maybe, this is good, as it gives those working a common enemy. They all work, and continue to work, so to avoid being classed with these unGodly cretin.

Maybe its just the natural pecking order of things?

Ackkk - brain has frazzled a wee bit now, ideas are flitting by at a rapid pace, kind of like bumblebees on LSD. Now that would be a sight!

I'll give up on this post, as I guess it died long ago.

Niiiiiiight!